Your Journey

It was a beautiful weekend here in Denver and I'm so excited that golf season has officially begun!  I love golf for many reasons but it's so analogous to life and helps me with all my mindset principles.

After having one of my best rounds on Saturday, I called my father since golf is our common passion.  He said something to me that piqued my interest: "I've been playing for 50 years and I'm STILL working on my game!"

Ahh again, another great analogy to life.  With anything and everything in life, there is always more growth, more expansion, another level we can strive to.  Life is just a continuing upward spiral as we grow into the fullest, most expressed versions of ourselves.

It truly is a journey - with no destination; just a continuation of expansion.  Which is why it is so so important that we ENJOY the journey and not look to that destination as the place where we will finally "arrive."

If you think about your life now, there was probably a point where THIS exact place was what you were striving towards, and you never actually celebrated your accomplishments because you're just focused on the next thing.

Take a pause and be grateful for where you are, how far you've come and start learning to love the journey knowing that the lessons and growth will never end.

XO

Adrienne

The Chatter

Ugh it’s been a week!  Not because anything necessarily happened per se. But I’ve been dealing with incessant mind chatter.

My mind going on and on - criticizing myself, judging other people, complaining about situations, worrying about pointless things.  Jeeesh!

Is this always happening but I’m suddenly more aware of it?!  It’s a wonder I even get anything done in my life with this constant negative roommate.  

All of the tools I typically use just weren't working.  So what do I do when my mind acts up like this and feels so out of control?  

I surrender to it.  Not in a weak sort of way but I just stop trying to fight against it and let it have its little tantrums.  I become the witness of it.  I don't get invested in what it's saying, I don't believe it, I don't emotionalize it - I just let it be.

I disassociate from it and become the compassionate watcher of all the craziness going on.  I remind myself that I am NOT my mind - I am the awareness that is aware of the thoughts.

They say your pain is your purpose so it's no wonder that I became a mindset coach - because I know the pain well of living with an incessant, unruly mind and what can come when I believe all the negative things it spews off.  And although I've come a long way in my journey, I'm not perfect by any stretch and still can get caught up in the messiness of my mind.

Watch your mind this week and start taking notes of all the things it tells you that just aren't true or don't serve you.  It will bring much more awareness to your habitual thinking that otherwise goes unnoticed and consumes your whole state.

XO

Adrienne

Forge Your Own Path

The more awake and aware I become, the more I see how society, culture, the masses all are sending us messages on how we should be living our lives.  

We are supposed to have a steady job, save for retirement, get married, have a family, hold on to our youth, drink to socialize and unwind, etc. etc.  

Rarely do people stop and ask “Is this what I really want for MY life?”  It’s exactly those types of questions that I asked (and continue to ask) myself to make sure I am living my fullest, most authentic life.

👉🏼I got married because I thought that was what I was “supposed” to do and quickly realized it was for all the wrong reasons.  
👉🏼I had the secure, high-paying job because I was just following what I was told.
👉🏼I drank when I went out with friends because that was just what everyone does.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with those things if that is what is true and right for you.  For me, I realized it wasn't. 

It’s easy to go along with what everyone else does and tells us to do.  It takes a lot of courage to go within and listen to the quiet voice of your soul and even more courage to act on what it is telling you.

We are all unique expressions of God and we’re put here to have our own unique experiences and fully express ourselves.  Many times what we really want is not what is expected of us, and we have to be willing to go against traditions of society.

The opposite of courage isn’t cowardice - it’s conformity.  Be brave enough to forge your own path and listen to the quiet whispers inside of what is true for you.

XO

Adrienne
 

Clarity

I speak with a lot of people about what they want in their life and who they want to be.  The most common answer?  I don’t know.  Not so much in those exact words but that is basically what they are telling me.

It shows up like this - they’re so wrapped up in the daily to-dos of life, and it’s “good enough” so they don’t give it much thought; they had a general idea from years ago that they are still hustling towards but never actually stopped to ask themselves if that is still what they want; they have shiny object syndrome endlessly chasing new and exciting projects they get bogged down with.  And many other ways.

Clarity is king.  When you can get clear about what you want out of life, life becomes easier!  

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”  We heard that question a lot as a child, but we stopped asking ourselves that somewhere along the line.  

Ask yourself now - Are you who you want to be, doing what you always wanted to do?  If the answer is no, why not?

It’s so easy to get caught up in the hamster wheel of life, the trap of busyness and lose sight of the big picture.  If you’re anything like me, I spent a long time climbing a ladder to success only to realize it was leaning up against the wrong wall.

Don’t make the same mistake I did - get clear about what you want in life and the person you want to be.  It’s the way to live a much more purposeful and fulfilling life. 

XO

Adrienne

Comparison

"Comparison is the thief of joy."  I heard that one time and it has really stuck with me.  

You may have seen on social media my posts about April 1st was my second anniversary in business.  Approaching the two year mark, I was feeling all kinds of stress and negative feelings because I thought at two years in, I should be "further."  

When I examined that belief, I realized how silly and unproductive it was.  What is "further" and why couldn't I just be proud of all that I've accomplished?  After all, I am running a successful business doing something I LOVE and live a great life.  Why was I being so hard on myself and holding myself to such lofty standards?!

It doesn't matter whether you're comparing yourself to other people or just to your expectations - comparison truly is the killer of joy.

When you compare, you take everything you’ve accomplished and completely discredit it.  You unintentionally say “Everything I’ve done and have isn’t good enough because it’s not THERE.”

That in turn sends a signal to the universe of DISPLEASURE and DISAPPOINTMENT.  When you emanate that frequency, you get more things to be disappointed about. 

Appreciation is the opposite of disappointment.  There is ALWAYS something to appreciate in any given moment and circumstance.  The more we can train our mind to appreciate, the more things we will get to appreciate in return.

Another great tip I am embracing - celebrate every little win as if it was a million dollars!

XO

Adrienne

The Unknown

Our human minds have a tendency to want to figure everything out.  We are uncomfortable with the idea of not knowing.  But why?  The unknown is beautiful space to be in.  It’s filled with possibilities; filled with endless things that we haven’t even dreamed up.

When you sit down to read a book, if you knew the ending and exactly what was going to happen, would you even read it??  Probably not.  So why do we want to do that with our lives?  

The universe wants to surprise and delight us but it can’t do that if we’re always anticipating what is going to happen.  The brain is an anticipation machine so we need to become aware of how much it is anticipating the future and bring ourselves back to the present moment.

If we’re always assuming what is going to happen, that is what shows up for us.

Sit in the unknown.  Magic and miracles can only happen in there. 

XO

Adrienne

Spring Renewal

Today is the Spring Equinox - hooray!  We’re leaving the depths of Winter hibernation and the renewal of Spring is starting.  We can learn a lot from looking at nature.  It’s a time of movement, action, clearing out the old and making room for the new.  There’s an abundance all around of everything needed for nature to flourish.

Trees start budding into beautiful colors, dirt on the ground turns to loads of grass, meek streams turn into flowing rivers, more animals are around as much more food is available.  It’s one of my favorite times of the year.

Tap into the abundance that is all around you - you have everything you need and more to live an amazing life.  You have always been provided for.  Open up to the abundance that your life has always provided and be grateful for it.

What we appreciate, appreciates!  So if we appreciate the abundance that’s been given to us, we get more abundance.  When we’re always thinking about what we don’t have and how we want MORE, we become blind to how much has been given to us already and it cuts off the flow.  How can the universe ever provide more if you aren’t happy with what it’s already provided?!?

Spring is a time to renew - our homes, our mind, our energy.  Use this time to clear out your space and your mind.  Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you.  Let go of the thoughts of lack and make room for even more abundance to come into your life. 

XO

Adrienne

Unfinished

While in Paris last month, I learned the Mona Lisa was not actually finished.  In fact, many of the works of art that we consider masterpieces weren’t completed.

That’s so interesting to me and made me sigh with relief.

As a perfectionist, I am always looking for the end, for something to be completed - and completed perfectly.  This was a great reminder that most things in life are unfinished and it can still be amazing and perfect just as it is.

There is beauty in something being unfinished.  It reflects the messiness of life and how it’s still amazing despite more to that needs to be completed.

It’s cliche but life is a journey, not a destination.  And when we can embrace that nothing is ever finished, we can give ourselves more grace.  We will always be a work in progress and there is beauty and perfection in that.

Embrace the unfinished messiness of life - it’s your masterpiece.

XO

Adrienne

More

I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  And spirit is always for expansion.  Take a look at nature and you will see how things are always getting bigger, fuller, expanding.  As spiritual beings, we should always be growing and expanding as well.

It’s ok to want more for yourself and your life.  But I think there is a fine balance between wanting more for ourselves and the endless wants of our ego.  Our ego is never satisfied, is always wanting more but coming from an energy of lack or trying to fill something.  

If you were to become conscious of what your ego was saying, it would sound something like this:

“When I have this or that, THEN I will be happy.”  
“I’m not good enough as I am now, but once I have X, I will be.”
“There’s not enough to go around, I need to get all I can!”

The ego is super sneaky and I find myself falling into its traps often.  Recently, I’ve been catching myself just looking at the future, always looking for more and forgetting about all the amazing things in my life right now.

The trick is being grateful and completely satiated NOW while still desiring more just for the fun of it.  Because being grateful and wanting more are NOT mutually exclusive.

Take a look at your underlying reasons for wanting more.  Is it for you, for the true joy of experiencing all of life has to offer?  Or is it coming from the ego?  Out of fear and lack?!

Can you shift into the present moment and be utterly grateful for everything in your life right now?  
Come from the energy of not needing anything but looking to experience more to help expand you to the next level.

XO

Adrienne

Being Nice

If you were to ask most people about me, I believe one of the first things someone would say is that I’m nice.  I used to pride myself on being nice and likable.  Recently, I’ve become acutely aware that my niceness is actually not so nice.  The reason why I’ve been nice, is because I WANT people to like me.

So instead of being honest or straight forward, I would be nice.  Instead of saying what I really wanted to say, I would agree and be nice.  I often have even stayed in relationships or friendships that I knew weren’t right for me just because I didn’t want to upset the other person.

When I really thought about it - that is so messed up!  I would never want people to hang out with me, or not be honest with me just because they wanted me to like them.  In fact, I would be mad, think they’re fake and not want to associate with them at all!

Being nice is not a good quality - it’s manipulative.  And what it does is leave me feeling depleted and resentful because I’m completely forsaking myself.

This has been an uncomfortable realization for me and something I am changing.  Instead of being liked, I want to be respected - by myself and others.

I encourage you to look at yourself and your intentions.  The next time someone asks you something and you “don’t want to hurt their feelings,” can you be lovingly honest instead?

That’s my goal.
 

XO

Adrienne

New

Each day is a fresh start, a blank slate, a portal of possibilities to create something new.  Unfortunately, our human minds get in the way and when we wake up, our minds assume we are going to have a similar day to the day before.  And what we believe, creates our reality.

What if we woke up expecting the best day of our lives?!  What if we expected a day full of pure magic and miracles??  

When you wake up in the morning, instead of jumping right into your routine and thinking about the day’s tasks or what happened yesterday, pause.  Take a few minutes and breathe in the present moment.  Breathe in the possibilities that are waiting for you on this day.  

How do you want to feel today?  Grateful, excited, energized, happy, fun, exciting, exhilarating, full, plentiful, amazing, spectacular.  Feel those feelings now!!!

Then open your eyes, proceed with the day trying to keep those feelings and look for evidence of magic and miracles.  The more we can train our brain to look for those things, the more we will see!

What do you want to create on this new, glorious day?!  It’s your canvas to create your masterpiece.

XO

Adrienne

Happy Birthday to Me!

I turned 40 on Thursday!  And I had a wonderful day and weekend celebrating with some of my favorite people in my life doing things that make me happy.

I had so much fun and was feeling so much love and gratitude.  But why do we wait for one day a year to feel and do that?!

What if we celebrated everyday as if it were our birthday?  Doing things we love, surround ourselves with people we love, feel so much love and appreciation.

Why wait for once a year to celebrate ourselves?  We have the opportunity to celebrate ourselves everyday, in every moment.

It doesn’t have to be a big to-do but can you just pause and feel gratitude for another day to be alive, for everything and everyone wonderful in your life, for all the amazing things you’ve accomplished.  To reflect and see how far you've come and get excited for what's ahead instead of just paying attention to the number.

Find time, even if for five minutes a day to do something just for yourself, something you love that makes you happy.

Make it a practice to celebrate yourself daily and celebrate everyday.  Life is short and each day is truly a gift.  Treat it as such.

XO

Adrienne

Hurried

On Sunday mornings, I go to yoga.  It’s one of my favorite ways to end the weekend and start my day.  I look at my yoga practice as a reflection of my life.  How I handle difficult things, how present I can stay and it’s a chance to slow down and watch my mind.

During yesterday’s class, I had a fellow yogi next to me who was rushing through every move.  It was distracting and also kind of making me laugh how abrupt and quickly he was moving from pose to pose before the teacher would even cue us.

As I judged him, it hit me - that’s me!!  I rush through life going from one thing to the next without room to breathe.  I pack my calendar and then have to bolt from one thing to the next.  I look just as ridiculous as this guy in my everyday life!

While I’ve come a long way and learned to create a lot more spaciousness in my life, I still fall into these old habits of hurriedness.  

I know I’m not alone here.  It’s programmed into our society.  How silly we must all look rushing from thing to thing, our minds always one step ahead of where we are physically.

My mission is to create even more spaciousness into my life and to just be where my feet are.  Not thinking about the next step, just soaking in the delicious present moment that will never be here again.

Who’s with me?!

XO

Adrienne

State of Mind

Why do we make things hard on ourselves?  Why do we impose so many rules and restraints on ourselves?  We bind ourself to commitments and obligations that we feel we should or need to do.  But who made up those rules??

We hold ourselves in jobs that are stressful.  More than that we hold ourselves in states that are stressful just because we worry and get anxious about things we cannot control.

What if we didn’t let the market, traffic, our boss, the news get under our skin?  

What if our minds weren’t filled with self-imposed obligations that we “should do" or “have to do?”  What if we didn’t feel guilt or fear if we didn’t do these things?

What if instead we filled our minds with thoughts of gratitude, appreciation and excitement for another beautiful day on this glorious playground Earth??  

What if we were able to keep our mind so disciplined and focused that we just were able to navigate our day in a serene beautiful state?

Imagine what your day would look and feel like if you went about all your routine tasks but did so in a calm, confident, joyful manner?

Do you see how it’s our minds, our own thoughts and feelings that can create either heaven or hell for ourselves?  Nothing on the outside even has to change when we can just control the state of our minds.

That is true mastery.  Mastery of our minds and mastery of our life experience.  Because we are no longer waiting for outside things to change before we can feel good inside.

Stop the chase and pursuit of things you believe will make you happy.  Open your eyes in the morning and realize you have everything you need to be happy right now.  Fill yourself up with gratitude and love and then carry that with you for the rest of the day.

Look for the magic.  Look for the little miracles that are around you all the time.  Life is so much more fun when we drop the stories and suffering we bring to ourselves.  

I wrote this message for all of you, but mostly as a reminder for myself :)

XO

Adrienne

Awareness

Awareness is defined as knowledge or perception of a situation or a fact.  Furthermore, awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns.

It’s said that by the time we are 35, 95% of all of our behavior is a set of subconscious programs.  95%!!!  Which means we are unaware and running on autopilot 95% of the time.

Brushing your teeth and driving are great examples of these types of habits.  But so are the thoughts you think, the way you react to situations or just how you are feeling in any given moment.

I’m becoming more and more aware of some of the subconscious patterns in my life.  Like how I feel overwhelmed with things to do most of the time, how I am constantly operating with thoughts and feelings of there not being enough time or how I incessantly worry about things I have no control over.

It’s interesting to start noticing yourself on this new level.  Once you become aware of these things, they are no longer subconscious.  You’ve shined a light on them and that is the first step to changing these patterns.

Now when I catch myself falling back into those old habits, I can pause, take a few conscious breaths back into the present moment and then make a new choice.

I instead say things to myself like “I have all the time I need,” “What if it all works out perfectly,” or “What is this situation trying to teach me?”

This is a pattern interrupt - instead of just continuing down the same neuropathway in your brain, it interrupts the subconscious behavior and starts to form a new pathway.

Start watching yourself with curiosity and see your habitual thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  The more you can raise your conscious awareness of yourself, the more you can change into the person you want to be.

XO

Adrienne

Embrace the Suck

I started taking dance classes last year as just something fun and different than my normal exercise routines.  I mostly go to a beginner dance fitness class where we learn a basic routine that’s pretty easy to follow even for the coordinately challenged like me.

I’ve really enjoy it and it has pushed me out of my comfort zone.  Last week I wanted to try another class that I also thought was going to be a beginner/basic type class.  But that was NOT the case.  The teacher and the few students in the class were well-trained, VERY good jazz dancers.  I was so completely out of my element, I kept looking at the door wondering if I can somehow make a nonchalant escape.

The teacher kept yelling out moves that I had no idea what they were like pas de bourré, which was the only one I even recognized because of a Friends episode when Joey tried out for a broadway musical 😂

I stuck it out and by the end of class I actually was able to keep up with the routine and even hit some of the harder moves!  Instead of letting the embarrassment get the best of me, I chose to laugh at myself, relax and have fun.  

It made me realize that we can do anything we want to do if we’re willing to be bad at it.  Most of the time our ego gets in the way and we don’t want to be bad so it prevents us from trying and experiencing new things.

Stop taking yourself so seriously.  Try something new you always wanted to do and embrace sucking, you’ll have more fun and you’ll see you’re capable of so much more!

XO

Adrienne

Upper Limits

You may have seen the story I posted last week about the mountain house I manifested (if not you can read it here).

While I am so happy and grateful to have this wonderful home, it has been causing me A LOT of stress - occupying a lot of my mental energy thinking about money, repairs that need to be done, the housing market etc etc.  

I have to keep catching myself and calling my mind back to the present moment.  While these may be valid concerns, there’s little that I can do about most of the things I am worrying about.  

Worrying is a way we “upper limit” ourselves.  We have an internal thermostat that is always looking to bring us back to the temperature we set our lives to.  So when we accomplish something that’s outside the norm and turns up the heat, our minds immediately look to cool it off.

Worrying, criticizing, getting sick or injured are all ways our subconscious mind kicks in to sabotage the situation and bring us right back down to where our thermostat is set.  Or one area of your life starts to take off and then another area of your life falls apart.

It’s how our subconscious mind tries to keep us “safe” but all it really does is prevent us from having or enjoying all of the good we want in life.

This has been happening to me big time.  I have SO many wonderful things going on in my life right now, the heat is getting so high I can see how my internal thermostat is pulling out all the stops to bring the temperature back down.

Awareness is always the fist step.  Just being aware of this, I am able to see the stress and worry for what it is - upper limit behavior.  And just try to bask in the gratitude and goodness of my life and new home as much as possible.

Take a few minutes to pause, focus on what is going well in your life and spend a few minutes feeling great about it.  The more we can spend soaking in the good moments, the higher the thermostat temp will set to and the less we will self-sabatoge.

XO

Adrienne

Fresh Start

Ahh a new year, a clean slate, a fresh start.  That’s what we all think the start of the year is for.

In reality, we all are getting that opportunity every day. You’re suddenly more aware of it at the start of the year.  But you can shift that awareness at any time.  Every moment is a clean slate, a fresh start.  Another chance to be grateful and enjoy life.  

Day by day, if you create a beautiful day, you will create a beautiful month, then a beautiful year and soon a beautiful life.  So look at your days.  Each day one by one. It is a brick in the castle of your life.  What are you building?  If you’re not present in the day, if you’re stuck in things you’re not enjoying then what kind of life are you creating?  

If you spend 5 of the 7 days a week doing something you don’t like or resent or get agitated by, then soon your whole castle will be mostly those dark bricks.  You won’t like it, you don’t want to live in it and it won’t be strong or solid.  It will crumble.  It will be easy to blow over and your whole world to fall down.  But if you build it one beautiful day after another only sprinkled with a couple “bad” days here or there, then your castle will be a magnificent creation and it will be really difficult to come falling down on you. 

Start building what you want.  Start building the beautiful castle of your life. Start building exactly what you want brick by brick, day by day.  Remember every day is a new creation to make something wonderful.  

Take stock at the end of your days. Ask yourself, did I love today?  Did you love what you did?  How did you spend your precious minutes and hours?  If not, why not?  What could you do tomorrow to start expanding more of what you love?  Start small, start with 10 minutes of something you love each day.  Then build from there and soon your whole day will be beautiful and magnificent, then your week, then months, then your life.  That’s how you create the life you want.

XO

Adrienne

Love

Confession:  I’m a little kid at heart.  I love kids movies, rides and still have a stuffed animal that I’ve slept with since I was three.  

When I want to feel good, I’ll put a kids movie on. Recently it was the new Dr. Seuss animated How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  It’s really fun to watch movies (esp kid movies) with a different perception and look for the deeper meaning and messages.  

There’s a lot of great lessons about life in movies!  I really thought about this and how the messages in many movies are so important but often overlooked and it doesn’t quite sink in.  The Grinch is definitely one of those.

When it comes to the holidays, it’s become a time where people are increasingly stressed.  Stressed about the amount of things to do and going on, wrapping up the year at work (and for many people making a hard push to reach their year end goals), stress around family time, and the increasing number of presents you have to buy each year.

The holidays have been not just commercialized but have morphed into a source of added stress in our lives.

But what is the holiday really about?  Love.  It’s another chance to love and celebrate the amazing lives that we live.  Love our families no matter how messy the relationships are with everyone.  Love ourselves by not over-indulging in all the holiday treats.  Loving others and giving back because you realize how fortunate you really are.  It’s all about sharing and spreading love.  

Take some pauses during the holidays this year - breathe it in, get present, love the moment, love the celebration of another year around the sun, love the time spent with family, love it all, even the drama!

Love is the one thing that no one can take away from you.  

And remember, you will NEVER have a holiday season exactly like this one.  

Have a wonderful holiday!!!

XO

Adrienne

Find the Lessons

Sundays are my day for getting myself ready for the week.  I love nothing more than entering Monday with a clean home, clean sheets and knowing I’m organized and ready to tackle the week.

Yesterday was an unusual Sunday because I was going to a concert last night.  So I put myself on a strict schedule of getting everything done by 4:00.

When I made my stop at Whole Foods, I breezed in there and filled my cart up in less than 15 minutes.

Then I got into line to check out and I was the second person.  I was feeling good and happy that I was going to be in and out of there and stay on schedule.  

But the woman in front of me had a ton of stuff and the cashier was talking to her non-stop and verrrry slowly scanning and bagging.  I was watching the people in the line next to me finish one after another and I was cursing myself for picking the wrong line.

Finally she started with my stuff and the cashier was bubbly, SO happy and genuinely curious about me - what I was doing that weekend, my holiday plans and even started singing a song when I told her I was going to a concert.

She was having a BLAST while I was standing there in a tizzy that she was taking so long.  I stopped myself.  Why is this making me so mad?  This gal is having a blast at her job.  Who am I to ruin that for her and think my time is more important than her enjoying what she’s doing?!  Plus me being annoyed wasn't affecting her at all, it was only creating suffering for me.

I laughed at myself and the ways I can get so worked up over nothing.

Remember life is always happening FOR us.  And when we can pause in those moments of frustration and ask ourselves - what’s the lesson here?  We can see things from a totally different perspective.

I believe that cashier was reminding me to stop, slow down and have fun no matter what I’m doing.  I instantly became grateful for the lesson and my frustration melted away.  I took my time having fun with the rest of my Sunday tasks and got everything done while also having fun doing it.

That my friend is how we can create a whole new reality for ourselves.  One of gratitude, peace and joy instead of angst, resistance and always needing the outside to go our way to feel good.

Change your perceptions and your life will change - I promise.

XO
Adrienne