Happiness is a State of Mind

It's written in the the Declaration of Independence that our natural rights are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Maybe that's why we've got it all wrong. It's been engrained in us that we have to pursue happiness. Like somehow it's out there, somewhere outsideof us.

For most of my life this is what I did. Worked at a job I didn't love but paid well, then used that money to go incessantly pursue things I thought would make me happy - vacations, concerts, material possessions etc.

The problem was that everything was so short-lived and kept me cravingmore which meant I needed even more money to keep chasing all the endless things I thought would make me happy.

Now I understand that is NOT how it works. Happiness is a state of mind - it's something inside of us and we must make a conscious choice to be happy every day.

I can be just as happy sitting on my couch sipping tea as I am skiing in Vail for the weekend. It makes life so much better that I never want to be anywhere but where I am at any given moment.

Don't get me wrong, I still fall back into that pattern from time to time since just like everyone else in this country it's so embedded in my mind - but now I am able to stop and recognize when I'm doing it and remember happiness lives within me and no amount of money, fun, adventures etc. will ever be able to fill that.

Because when you're happy on the inside, everything outside must reflect that.

XO

Adrienne

Love

It's Valentine’s Day!!!  Which I believe is just a big marketing ploy to get us to ingest more sugar but that’s a story for another day :)

Today I want to talk about LOVE.

I’ve learned we are all pure love at our core.  Our hearts are boundless and it’s really just our minds that put limitations on our love.  

Everything stems from our own love for ourselves so we must learn to love and accept ourselves just as we are in order to fully love others.

I recently had an EKG and learned that how it works is our hearts create electricity and the machine is able to pick up on the electrical currents to see if everything is working properly.  How COOL is that!  

With that electricity, our hearts create an electromagnetic field that emanates from us that literally acts like a magnet and attracts to us other things that are on that same frequency.  Just like we learned in Science class, like attracts like.

When we’re not in touch with our hearts and it’s closed off - what kind of things do you think that field is bringing into your life?!  I would like to encourage you to get back in touch with it.  

How?  Well where you put your attention is where you put your energy.

Take a few minutes today to breathe into your heart and thank it for beatingfor all these years without question.  Send it your much needed love, attention & energy. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Adrienne

The Best is Yet to Come

My birthday is coming up this week and I turn 39 - the last year in my 30's. I've been reflecting on the past 9 years and everything that has happened.

I got married, divorced, earned the CFA, got a few promotions that eventually led me to relocate across the country after spending my whole life in the northeast, started over in a new city, found love again, lost it again, embarked on a path of self-discovery that led me to quit my finance career after 16 years and start my own business doing something I love and followed my heart vs my head for the first time in my life.

It's been a wild and fun adventure and I'm grateful for it all. With each triparound the sun, most people dread getting another year older. Lamentingabout the past as the "good old days" and wondering where the time went.

What if instead we believed that the best is yet to come? That no matter what age you're turning, it's going to be the best year of your life?! You'd have a new found excitement for life and what's to come, wouldn't you?!

The past is a great teacher and it's wonderful to be grateful for all the goodtimes, but let's start putting more credence in our future.

And remember that this present moment is what is creating our future. The more we can embrace and enjoy life right now, the better our future will be.

Start trusting that the best is yet to come - I know I do.

XO

Adrienne

Feeding Your Mind

I'm not much of a TV watcher, but over the past couple of weeks I decided to indulge in the show Yellowstone after hearing so much hype around it. I immediately got hooked. Kevin Costner, cowboys, shoot outs - what's not to like?!

I noticed something though after a couple of sessions binge watching it. I would have stressful or violent dreams afterwards.

Dreams are interesting because they are a great indication of what we are attracting into our lives.

If you have dreams that feel good, you're in a positive vibration and attracting good experiences to you. It's why I always try to write down my dreams every morning so I can see what kind of state I'm in.

It was a great reminder that if we want to feel good and attract good things to us, we must feed our minds positive things.

If we're only watching alarming news, violent shows, scary movies etc, that gets programmed directly into our minds and affects our moods.

I'm not saying not to watch any of this but if you notice yourself in a fearful, anxious or negative state, try taking a break from the negativity and feed your mind something positive instead.

You'll start feeling better instantly.


XO

Adrienne

Microcosms

I'm a believer in the theory - how you do one thing is how you do everything. If you believe that, you are able to learn a lot about yourself by examininghow you do things daily - looking at everything as a microcosm to your whole life.

As I sat in yoga class yesterday, I thought about this concept. It's the perfectexample - do you push yourself out of your comfort zone? Do you take on too much even when your body is screaming to stop? Do you go to child's posethe minute it starts getting tough? Do you do these same things in life?

During most classes the teacher gives us some "play time" that is typically used as an opportunity to get upside down.

While I know I can do headstand, I never take the chance. I justify it by saying my body needs a different type of stretch.

But yesterday I got curious and honest with myself. I don't do it out of fear - fear of falling, hitting my neighbor and causing a ruckus. I tell myself that I will practice at home and when I have it down 100% I will try it in class.

Then I realized I do this in so many other areas of my life. I let fear get the best of me and don't go for it. I worry about messing up, not being perfectand caring what people think.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be held back because of fear. I want to live a life of freedom and be the truest version of myself. And that means putting fear and my ego aside.

Next time, I'm doing that headstand.

Guard Your Mind

The other day I had a situation where I was bothered by something a friend of mine did. Later that night I found myself in a thought loop of self-righteousness thinking "that was so rude; how could they do that; I would never do that to someone" etc.

Then I caught myself. As you probably know by now, I am a full believer that our thoughts create our realities which then means what goes through my mind is the most valuable resource I have. Why would I spend my precious mental energy replaying the scenario or even giving it to that person at all?!

When these things happen to us, it's never about the other person. It's always about us and how we handle it. We have a tendency to sit on our high horse and point the finger at someone or something else, but that is the easy way out.

Can you take it as an opportunity to look inward? Find out why you're so triggered by it?

When a situation activates us, it means there is an aspect of ourselves that needs to be healed. If you can recognize it, you start to take better care of yourself in those moments and not let people or situations bother you. And it's extremely liberating because it means nothing anyone does can ever shake you!

Imagine if more people in the world stopped pointing fingers and instead used it as an opportunity to look at themselves? Wow what a more peaceful world we'd have!

Let's all do our part :)

Have More Fun

For the last couple of years I write down a word for my year ahead. This yearthat word is fun.

Of course everyone would say they'd like more fun in their lives. But I'm not talking about endlessly chasing more "fun" experiences in life.

To me, it means having more fun every day in every task.

We tend to take life and ourselves so seriously - mindlessly going from one task to another, stressed about our to do lists and all of life's demands. Rarely thinking abut how we can transform these things into something fun.

Here are some ideas:

-->Change the way you look at the task ex: Doing laundry as a chance to thank your clothes for keeping you warm and being part of how you show yourself to the world
-->Put on the happiest most uplifting music you can find while doing something stressful or mundane and pretend every cell in your body is having a dance party
-->Imagine your life is a movie (think Truman Show) and spontaneously do weird things to make the audience laugh
-->Have a huge grin on your face and see who can notice through your mask at the grocery store (one of my personal favorites)

Can we find more levity, more laughter, and just more playfulness in our day to day lives? That's my goal for this year :)

Clean Slate

Happy New Year!  I always love the beginning of the year - we get a freshstart and another chance to make our year amazing.  

I know a lot of people feel the same way and everyone is eager to make their resolutions for the year.  But what happens?  Typically they're forgotten by February.

What I've learned over the past year is we never have to wait to start fresh.  Every moment of every day is a chance to start over.  

Success is all about forgiving yourself, forgetting the mistakes and having the tenacity to get back on track.  

A successful life is nothing more than a collection of successful days put together.  So look at each day as a building block to your life.

Take it one day at a time and do your best.  If you fall off track with your resolutions (or whatever it is you'd like to accomplish) forgive yourself and start again.  

This is the key to building a successful habit, successful days and a successful life.

XO

Adrienne

Lean into the Hard Stuff

I learned to ski when I moved to Colorado.  It's much different learning to ski as an adult and the fear feels very real.  Although I've come a long way in five years, I still get scared when I come to an extra steep part of the mountain.

My instinct is to slow down, lean back and cautiously make my way down which prolongs the scary part and makes it so much worse.

When I can get out of my own head, lean into the downhill and just ski, I get through the difficult part so much faster.

Because I'm always thinking about mindset and analogies, I immediately thought about how similar that is to life's challenges.

Our instinct is to avoid the challenge and pull away from it.  But that actually just makes it more difficult on ourselves as we struggle through it.  If we can be bold, lean into the obstacle and face it with confidence, it not only makes it easier but you then get through it quicker.

Every problem, challenge or negative situation is a great opportunity to learn, grow and improve ourselves.  Look at it like a lesson and be braveenough to face it head on.


XO

Adrienne

Keeping the Faith

I'm back in New Jersey visiting family for the holidays and it's fun to be around my sister's three young kids that are still in that age where Christmas is magical.

All of them wrote their lists to Santa detailing exactly what they wanted and then they have complete faith that's what is going to show up under the treeChristmas morning as long as they behave.

What if we kept that kind of faith when asking the universe for what we want?  Get as specific as possible, write it down, think about it often and just know the universe will deliver if we act in an affirmative way.

Both faith and fear require us to believe in the unseen so why don't we focuson what we DO want instead of what we don't?!

I encourage you to make your list for the universe before the end of the year for what you want in 2022.  When we can get clear and intentional with what we want, it's amazing how the universe delivers.

Wishing everyone a joyful, healthy and peaceful holiday - remember to take some deep breaths and savor the moments.

XO

Adrienne

Smile Through It

I love working out.  There's something about pushing myself physically, feeling my heart pounding and the sense of accomplishment that comes with it that can be addicting.

During my last few workouts I noticed something.  I was constantly watching the clock, checking the miles, ticking the seconds down until the hard part was over.  Basically completely resisting the present moment and wishingfor the future so I could be done.

How often do we do that in life?!  Resist the current situation and think the future holds our salvation?!

So I tried something different.  Every time I felt really uncomfortable, I smiled.  Like a big ear-to-ear grin.  

What happened?!

I was instantly invigorated!  Felt a surge of energy and more power pulse through me - and just helped me feel better and accept the moment.  

Which makes me think - any time we face something boring or uncomfortable in life, just smile through it.  A big genuine smile has the ability to instantly change our state.

XO

Adrienne

Celebrate Your Wins

I noticed over the past week how quick I am to undermine my own achievements and how easy it is to forget how far I have come in any area of life.

For example, my father asked me how my business was going, and if I was happy with where I am.  My response "It's going great, but wish I was furtheralong."

In my mind, I thought I'd already have 100+ clients and be making my first million at this point.  I compare myself to other coaches and entrepreneurswhose business blew up in their first year.

I forget that just one year ago I was still in my corporate job.  That I successfully launched my dream business; that it takes some coaches years before they have as many clients as me; that a year ago I would've been terrified to post a video of myself on social media.

We're always so quick to judge ourselves thinking we still have so far to go, but what about how far we've come?!

The only comparison should be with ourself and being better than we were yesterday.  Let's applaud ourselves for what we've been through, how much we've accomplished despite hardships; how we are different, better, stronger than we we've ever been.

Think about a win you have (however small) and take a moment to give yourself a good ol' pat on the back.  Do this daily and watch your momentumand self-esteem grow.

An American Girl in Paris

I am currently in Paris on a solo trip sitting in a cafe eating a delicious meal.

It’s my first time traveling overseas alone and it’s been fun, exciting and enlightening.

As I walked around the Louvre yesterday, I noticed I wasn’t feeling well and I had some anxiety start setting in. What’s going on? Why was I feeling this way?!

I checked in with my thoughts. I noticed how I fell back into default/unconscious mode where I was allowing the outside world to dictatehow I felt and my human brain was focusing solely on the negative.

I was allowing myself to get annoyed by the crowds, the tourists that were not considerate of my personal space, the people that were taking 100 selfiesin front of the most well known exhibits.

No wonder I was feeling like crap! I quickly shifted my thinking - I rattled off as many things as I could think of that I loved and am grateful for: I love Paris, exploring new cities, my warm winter coat and on and on.

In less than five minutes I completely shifted my state and felt of burst of energy. My thoughts were literally making me sick and I was able to change how I physically felt in just a few minutes by changing my thoughts. How amazing is that?!

When you travel alone it’s such a great time to be with yourself and createyour own experience based on your thinking.

I’m choosing to stay aware, awake, conscious of my thoughts to only create a beautiful, peaceful trip full of helpful people and fun experiences.

When you fall asleep again back to the unconscious way of living, victim to the outside world, catch yourself and try rattling off at least ten things you love. I promise it will be a game changer.

Au revoir!

XO

Adrienne

Renouncing

This is by the far the most difficult message I've written. Last week I took part in an old Amazonian medicinal ritualcalled Kambo where it clears out your lymphatic system and serves as a cleanse. Five days of that culminated in a closing ceremony using a plant medicine, San Pedro.

What I learned during that ceremony will forever change my life.

I was shown the one decision I could make that would help improve my life in every way I asked for; one decision that could solve every problem I have; one thing to give up that would open so much space to bring in what I really wantin life.

What is it?

Alcohol.

I saw all the ways that alcohol has sabotaged my life - from relationships to commitments I couldn't keep to myself and even health issues I've had. How it was the root of every bad decision I've ever made; how much I use alcohol to hide behind; how I try to be so healthy with my eating and working out but continue to poison myself.

I never would have considered myself an alcoholic and over the past two years I significantly cut down on my consumption but I saw how I started drinking while I was in high school and literally have not stopped since.

The alcohol lives in me acting as a parasite, taking over my mind with anxious and worrisome thoughts, deludingme to think that more of it would help ease all of that.

There was only one clear decision - to give it up all together.

I fought the idea most of the night justifying reasons why I couldn't but I couldn't deny everything I just learned and go back to my old ways. I'm on a path of growth and change and no one said it would be easy.

It's a scary decision but also empowering and freeing at the same time. I want to be the one in charge of my life, not give my power away to alcohol.

I'm sharing this different type of message today not to preach this to anyone else, but to hold myself accountable and make this official. To share with my community my decision and hope for your support. And maybe somehow inspire someone else to make a difficult change in their own life.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate you more than you know!

XO

Adrienne

Power of Belief

I learned this weekend that Denver has a film festival - who knew! I went with some friends to see the movie King Richard.

The movie is about Venus & Serena Williams' father and their rise to superstardom during their formative years.

The movie was great and I would recommend it. But what hit me the most is how much their father instilled BELIEF in them.

He was convinced both girls were going to be two of the best tennis players of all time. So much so that both girls believed it themselves and it gave them so much confidence.

No outside circumstances mattered - not where they were from, the fact that they had no money or that everyone told their father it was impossible.

And everything he had envisioned and planned for them, came true.

We all need that kind of belief. Do you believe in yourself?

If you don't, borrow mine. I KNOW that you have so much potential inside of you and can do, have or be anything you set your mind to.

XO

Adrienne

Change Isn't Always Pretty

When you start embarking down thepathof personalgrowththere are certainly a lot of rewards- you feelhappier,freeand morepowerfulknowing you arecreatingyour own life.

But there's also adarkside. As you bringawarenessto yourself and pastpatterns, you see how you've acted in a newperspective.

For me, I've been seeing how I'vehurtpeople, actedselfishlyand downrightmeanat times. I'vejudged, actedbetterthan and disposedof friendships/relationships in the blink of an eye.

It wasn'tpretty. And I'm notproudof it. In fact, it's hard not tofeela lot ofguilt.

If we want to moveforward, we have toforgiveourselves. We're all alwaysoperatingwith the level ofunderstanding,awarenessandknowledgethat we had at the time.

It's aboutlearningfrom our past and makingbetter, moreheart-centereddecisionsgoing forward.

As Maya Angelou once said "Do thebestyou can until you knowbetter. Then when youknowbetter, dobetter."

Don'tbeatyourself up for what you didn't know, just dobetternow.

XO

Adrienne

What's Your Passion?!

How did you spend Halloween weekend? Dressing up? Going to parties? Trick or Treating with your kids?

I spent mine at another meditation retreat with Dr Joe Dispenza waking up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning to spend most of the day in meditation.

This may sound crazy to some people and the last thing you'd want to do.

So why do I do it?

It's my PASSION! I love this stuff so much - the science behind change, meditation, using our minds to create our realities and becoming the bestversion of me possible.

Did I second guess going? Yes. Was I scared of missing out on all the Halloween fun? Yes.

But that’s what happens when you have a passion for something. It makes decisions easier.

Besides nothing great has ever been achieved without some level of sacrifice.

Find you passion, whatever it may be. And spend some time doing it. Even if it’s just for an hour a week.

It’s food for the soul.

XO

Adrienne

Seeing our Blind Spots

I played golf the other day and it started off pretty ugly since I hadn't played in a while.  I kept wondering what I was doing wrong/differently than usual.

Then I would watch the people I was playing with and I could easily tell if it was going to be a good shot or if there was something off on their swing.

It made me think it's kind of like life - it's so easy to judge and see what others are doing wrong but it's much more difficult to tell in ourselves.

We need honest feedback from our family, friends and trusted sources to see where our blind spots are if we want to change something.  

We also need to watch our own self carefully like an outside observer and be brutally honest with ourselves, no matter how ugly the truth may be.

Then remember to not beat yourself up about it!  We're all humans stumbling our way through life constantly on a path of learning and growing.

Speaking of feedback - I'd love to hear yours!  Any input on my emails, social media posts, things you'd like to hear/see, I want to know!  It would be much appreciated :)


XO

Adrienne

Slow Down Time

I took myself out on a date this weekend with the intention of spending some quality time with myself.

I went to a nice restaurant, sat at the bar and committed to not look at my phone. It's an interesting experiment to sit somewhere by yourself and not use your phone to distract yourself. It can definitely feel uncomfortable.

But once I settled in, I loved watching the bartenders bustle around and the people around me enjoying each other's company and the good food. I was able to savor every sip of wine and every bite of my dinner.

When I finally couldn't take it anymore and pulled out my phone to look at the time, only 40 minutes had passed. WHAT?! That couldn't be. I felt like I was sitting there forever!

Yes, time flies when you’re having fun but actually time flies when you’re distracting yourself, when you’re escaping.   

If you want to slow down time, try being present.

I know I've talked about being present before but it truly is so powerful when we can anchor our mind into the now. Forget the past, not worry about the future and just watch life unfold moment by moment.

There's magic to be seen if we can just take the time to notice.

XO

Adrienne

Find Your Inner Kid

I spent another weekend back east for a gorgeous fall wedding in Cooperstown, NY.  It was for my brother in law's sister where my 8 year old niece's dream came true by being the flower girl.

I spent the whole weekend with my niece, Sage, including the 4.5 hour drive both ways from NJ to Cooperstown - and wow did I learn a lot from her.

It's interesting being around a kid who's perspective on life is still fresh, new and untainted.
 

• Pulling up to the hotel her reaction: "Oh those guys who help with the bags!!! I appreciate them."

• While I did her make up for the wedding: "Ooo powder, ooo pink lip gloss - I love makeup!"

• When asked by her mom (my sis) if she wanted to be announced and walk into the reception with her and her dad: "No I want my own introduction and will dance my way in!"

Then she proceeded to rock the dance floor all night like no other.

We take life and ourselves so seriously.  When do we lose that wonder and confidence we had as a kid?!  

Can you find your inner child and be more playful?  Look at things with reverence?  Appreciate the things we take for granted?  Find that unshakeable confidence?!    

It's a much more fun way to live.