Renouncing

This is by the far the most difficult message I've written. Last week I took part in an old Amazonian medicinal ritualcalled Kambo where it clears out your lymphatic system and serves as a cleanse. Five days of that culminated in a closing ceremony using a plant medicine, San Pedro.

What I learned during that ceremony will forever change my life.

I was shown the one decision I could make that would help improve my life in every way I asked for; one decision that could solve every problem I have; one thing to give up that would open so much space to bring in what I really wantin life.

What is it?

Alcohol.

I saw all the ways that alcohol has sabotaged my life - from relationships to commitments I couldn't keep to myself and even health issues I've had. How it was the root of every bad decision I've ever made; how much I use alcohol to hide behind; how I try to be so healthy with my eating and working out but continue to poison myself.

I never would have considered myself an alcoholic and over the past two years I significantly cut down on my consumption but I saw how I started drinking while I was in high school and literally have not stopped since.

The alcohol lives in me acting as a parasite, taking over my mind with anxious and worrisome thoughts, deludingme to think that more of it would help ease all of that.

There was only one clear decision - to give it up all together.

I fought the idea most of the night justifying reasons why I couldn't but I couldn't deny everything I just learned and go back to my old ways. I'm on a path of growth and change and no one said it would be easy.

It's a scary decision but also empowering and freeing at the same time. I want to be the one in charge of my life, not give my power away to alcohol.

I'm sharing this different type of message today not to preach this to anyone else, but to hold myself accountable and make this official. To share with my community my decision and hope for your support. And maybe somehow inspire someone else to make a difficult change in their own life.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate you more than you know!

XO

Adrienne