Positivity

Often times people will say to me about how they like the positive messages I share.  Which I very much appreciate. But what I want people to understand is that there is something called toxic positivity.  

A lot of new age people are all about “love and light” and because of this may end up suppressing a lot of negative feelings.  I know I used to do this.  

If I was angry or upset I would tell myself “I shouldn’t be feeling this way".  And I would force myself to feel better.

What I understand now is that ALL emotions are valid. In fact, I believe we came here in this human experience to feel the full range of emotions.  How can we expect to feel whole if we’re only allowing half of the spectrum of emotions?!  

Emotions are energy in motion and if we don’t allow ourselves to actually feel them, they can get trapped in our bodies.  With enough build-up of this energy in our bodies, it can start to disrupt the body and distort our sense of reality.

I believe that reality is always reflecting things back to us and every situation we encounter is what we need for the evolution of our consciousness. This means that we will face situations that are going to bring up those suppressed emotions so we can feel and process them. 

The more we are able to actually feel the emotion and let it go, the more energy becomes available for us to use for creating what we want in our lives.

Oftentimes this is difficult for us because we get attached to a story about the feeling and it causes us to get stuck in it.  An emotion has an average lifespan of 90 seconds unless we are giving it a story or judging it as bad - then it starts to last a lot longer.  

Next time something triggers you and you feel angry, upset, jealous etc.  Think of it as medicine and be thankful for it!  Go sit in silence and feel that energy in your body, take some deep breaths and allow it to process through without getting stuck in the story and projecting it on the other person.  You may even want to punch some pillows or let out a big scream which is a great way to get rid of some of that energy build-up.

Remember it’s not about the other person or situation at all - it’s just the stored old emotional pain trying to find an outlet.  

XO

Adrienne

Comfort

I think self-inquiry is something everyone should do. Well there are no shoulds in life and everyone’s path is different, so let me rephrase that - self-inquiry has been extremely beneficial in my life.

I’ve become an earnest investigator of myself and it can be very enlightening.  When you start looking deeply into yourself, you see that you are nothing but pure consciousness living out conditioned patterns set by the mind.

I see how these conditioned patterns are always looking for comfort, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.  But to what detriment?

I see it with what I eat, what kind of workouts I do, things in my business, and of course while sitting on the couch wanting to just watch Netflix.

If you stay in your comfort zone, your comfort zone shrinks and your world becomes smaller.  When you step into challenge, you start to learn and your comfort zone continuously expands.

I want to start stepping out of comfort and challenge myself more and more.  Because I know that no growth happens in comfort.  And if you’re not growing, you’re disintegrating because nothing ever stays the same.

Start watching how much you seek pleasure and stay comfortable.  How can you challenge yourself today?

XO

Adrienne

Luck

Sometimes I look at my life and get so filled up with appreciation, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  How did I get so lucky?!  I’ll ask myself.

That question popped into my mind over the weekend and I realized it’s not luck at all.  There’s a universal law of cause and effect.  For every effect, there has to be a cause.

I am causing my life.  I am not just at the effect of everything that is happening. This was all created.  Very deliberately.

This didn’t happen overnight.  For years, I’ve been planting seeds in my subconscious mind about the life that I want.  I’ve journaled about it, visualized it, meditated on it.  I’ve studied this stuff for years!

I looked deeply, asked myself a lot of questions.  I've made some tough choices.  I eliminated things that weren’t part of my vision.  And I consciously have gone after everything I have today.

What I know now is we create our own luck.  Things don’t just happen, there’s always a cause.  

There are some people in life that are at cause. And there are some at effect.  The people at cause are proactive, doers.  The people at effect are reactive let-ers.  They allow things to happen to them while the at cause are making things happen.

So I ask are you at cause or at effect?  If you are not happy with the effects in your life, you can start making your own luck by becoming the cause.

XO

Adrienne

Resistance

Just like a wire cannot conduct electricity when there is too much resistance, we cannot be conduits for energy to flow through us when we have resistance. 

Resistance for us humans comes in when our mind gets in the way.  Negativity is resistance.  Arguing with what is present is resistance.  Anytime we argue with reality - telling ourselves this shouldn’t be happening, you don’t like what is happening or worrying about what will happen - you lose.

Energy is always running to and through us.  And the degree that we allow that energy to flow depends on how much we are allowing or resisting it.  

When the energy flows freely, our life becomes easier.  We have more energy, we have a better attitude and we are in the flow of life.

When it’s not, it's like we're swimming upstream - we’re tired, struggling to get by and everything seems hard.

When you can learn to focus and relax your thoughts and mind, you can reduce and even eliminate the resistance.  

This has been critical in my life and once I learned to do this, my life became SO much easier.  Magical synchronicities happen all the time, my work gets done much easier, I am full of energy and vitality.  

It’s SO much more fun to live this way!  I encourage you to try this for a period of time, and see what happens in your life.

XO

Adrienne

Embrace the Wobbles

I get a lot of ideas for these emails and my other content when I’m out for a walk or in yoga class.  

I think there’s something about moving in a methodical way, being present and quieting the mind during these activities that makes room for inspired thoughts to come in.

While in yoga class last week, I was getting frustrated while holding a pose.  I was wobbling all over the place nervous I would fall.

Why was I getting so frustrated about wobbling?  Doesn’t that mean I’m pushing myself to a new zone?  Who cares if I fall!  I’ll get stronger and stronger with each try.

Of course you’re not going to wobble if you’re always staying safely in your comfort zone.  It’s only when we’re pushing ourselves, stretching our limits that we’re going to feel unstable.  

Then with enough practice, maybe some falling down, that becomes our new base line.  Our new comfort zone.  From there, we start again.  That’s the process of growth.  

Without testing our limits and pushing the boundaries, we’ll never see what we’re truly capable of.  So let's embrace the wobbles - it's a sign of growth!

This is the key to unearthing more and more of the deep reservoirs of potential that lie inside of us.

I love this quote by Steve Bow: “God’s gift to us is more talent and ability than we could possibly use in our lifetime.  Our gift to God is to develop and use as much of that talent and ability as we can in this lifetime.”
 

XO

Adrienne

Acceptance

I’ve been into personal growth for as long as I can remember.  I thought the idea of changing yourself and becoming better was very alluring (still am obviously).

What I uncovered was I had a subconscious belief that “I’m not good enough as I am so I have to change in order to be worthy.”  

So I was always in this perpetual state of finding things to change and fix about myself.  This is an easy trap to fall into in a society that’s constantly pushing us to do more.

What I now know is that when you are always thinking “there’s something to fix,” you will continuously attract more and more things to fix!

This keeps you in an endless cycle of never feeling good enough.

Damn that’s exhausting.

I understand things differently now.  The best way to change and to propel yourself forward actually starts with self acceptance.  Accepting yourself exactly as you are now - where you are and who you are completely.

It’s only then in full acceptance can you make an empowered decision to choose a new behavior in the moment (because all we ever have is the present moment).

Instead of running away from yourself, you’re compounding to the greatness that you already are!

As you’re in the thick of working on your New Year’s Resolutions, see if it’s coming from this energy of wanting to fix something or not feeling good enough.

Take a few conscious breaths and shift your focus on radical self acceptance.  You will feel a huge weight off your shoulders.  I know I did.

XO

Adrienne

Intentions

I’m done making New Year’s resolutions.  I’m even done creating goals that I am insisting on accomplishing this year.  Then judging my year based on whether or not I achieved them.

Instead I will set an intention.  Intentions are powerful.  They bring a special quality of focus to your mind. 

My intention for this year is to go with the flow and be surprised and delighted with where life takes me.  

I’m no longer insisting I have to “make everything happen.”  I’m learning to trust more and more that all those goals and dreams in my heart are in fact my destiny.  So I don’t need to push and force anything to bring it to life. I can just sit in absolute knowing that everything I want and need will come to me in due time.

With that I will leave you with my favorite quote from Rumi, the Sufi poet:

When I run after what I thin I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain.  From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me.  There is a real secret here for anyone who can grasp it. 

What is your intention for 2024?  I’d love to hear!

Happy New Year!!!

XO

Adrienne

That Holiday Cheer

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!  It truly is a wonderful time of the year filled with family, friends, giving and a lot of love.

I’ve been thinking about how we wait all year for this time of holiday music, movies, decorations, cookies etc. that bring us so much joy.  We use those things to help us get into the holiday spirit.

In reality, we can create that holiday cheer any time we want.  Because just like everything I preach about, it’s not about relying on the outside world for it but learning to cultivate those feelings within ourselves.  

My invitation for you is to soak in all the good feelings today.  Anchor in the laughter, love ad joy that is all around; snapshot some memories that made you smile.  This way you can bring up these feelings at will to focus yourself into a good feeling.

It’s not about the amount of decorations you put up, the gifts you give or get - it’s about the love, the joy, the connection.  All of which can be replicated at any time.

Thank you *|FNAME|* for being on this journey with me and my sincerest, heartfelt gratitude goes out to you.  Wishing you and your loved ones all the love, joy and laughter to fill you for the whole year ahead.

XO

Adrienne

Should

I think this word should be vanished from our vocabulary.  It’s my opinion that this word causes us more harm and suffering than any other word.  

I looked up the definition and found it interesting:  used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions.

To me, this means every time we use the word should, we are criticizing ourselves.  And every time we criticize ourselves, our self-esteem takes a hit.

The way we talk to ourselves is of utmost importance.  I believe, it's one of the most important indicators on the kind of life you will live.

If you are in a constant battle with yourself in your mind, you won’t find peace anywhere in your external world.  

Cultivating a peaceful mind starts with dropping all criticism of yourself, which includes use of the word should.

Replace it with a more empowering word instead - could.  “I could if I wanted to...”  This reclaims your power back.  It gives you choice.  And you realize there really are no should’s, it’s just a choice of whether we want to do something or not.

Be mindful of your words and try making this one small change for a big impact.

XO

Adrienne

Trying

I try really hard.  I always have.  Trying to be a good person, to do the right thing, to be successful.  

What I realized is that “trying” to do these things means we’re not actually doing them at all.  We are kept in that trying energy never actually BEING any of it.

What I’ve found is that we actually have to embody the energy of what we want to become.  When you step into the identity of that highest version of yourself, there is no more trying.  You effortlessly take the actions of that version of you.  No trying necessary.

Reality is a boomerang always bringing back to you the energy you are emanating you so when you are in the energy of trying that is what you will get in return.  But when you are the energy of BEING and DOING, you’re emanating a completely different energy.  

For example instead of TRYING to be a nice person, you are sending out kindness.  Instead of TRYING to do the right thing, you are transmitting out integrity.  Instead of TRYING to be successful, you are emitting confidence.

I see it like an actor in a movie looking forced and fake versus completely embodying the role.  You can clearly tell a difference.  

It completely changes the game and in turn we receive back something very different from the universe.  

As Yoda said, “There is no try.  Only do”
.

XO

Adrienne

Balance

As many of you know, I talk about goals a lot.  How to set ones that come from your heart and really light you up.  While I love setting really big, exciting goals, I think it’s a balance between being too future focused and staying present in the moment.

When we set goals because we’re unhappy with where we are in our lives, then we’re looking to the future for salvation.  We’re saying we’re unhappy with where we are and once I get to this other destination, THEN I will be happy.

It doesn’t work like that!  When you come from that type of energy - the lacking/needy energy - nothing is ever going to make you feel better.  Even in the accomplishment of something significant.

The trick is being fully appreciative and grateful for your life now while also wanting to bring those dreams in your heart to life for the FUN of it!

Not because you need it, not because where you are now isn’t good but because it would just be a super cool journey with lots of exploration and expansion along the way.  Oh and if you make it to the goal, awesome!!!

There’s no demands on the universe, there’s just innocent excitement - both for where you are now and where you’re going.  

Find this balance between gratitude for your life now while also setting that big goal that excites you just to think about it.  This is the sweet spot where everything you desire and more starts flowing to you with ease.  

XO

Adrienne

Gratitude

I talk about gratitude a lot and I really do believe it is so important in life.  But I think it can also be misconstrued.  

Having gratitude for things in your life doesn’t mean everything is perfect.  It also doesn’t mean that you’re always in a positive state.  

In the past I would use gratitude to deny how I was feeling - telling myself I shouldn’t feel a certain way because there are so many people in the world who have it worse.

Gratitude is just a way to shift your focus to everything that is already good in your life.  But it shouldn’t be used as a reason to cover up what you’re really feeling.  

I spent Thanksgiving alone and was filled with feelings of sadness missing my family on the east coast, feeling lonely and vulnerable.

What did I do?  I allowed myself to feel everything.  I drew myself a nice bath, listened to music, cried, laughed and then ate a lot of dessert.

Appreciation and gratitude for life’s gifts is important.  But just as important is not invalidating your feelings for fear of not seeming grateful.

Without the sadness, grief and anger there wouldn’t be things to be grateful for!  Experiencing those human emotions helps us have compassion for ourselves and others.  

We need the dark in order for the light to exist.  So yes practice gratitude but not as a way to lie to yourself or force yourself into a positive state.  But as a thank you to the universe knowing that everything is always changing and you’re appreciative of the goodness in your life right now.

XO

Adrienne

Money

Oh this little five letter word has so much charge behind it.  Tons of beliefs, emotions and meaning to it.  It’s a huge focus for so many people.  Not just earning money, but saving it, spending it, making sure NOT to be too focused on it.

We give the amount we make and what we have in the bank so much meaning.  We even make it mean something about ourselves!

We pick up a shirt we like in a store and immediately look at the price tag and make a decision based on that, rather than if we really like and want the shirt!

Why, why do we give so much power to pieces of paper with dead presidents on it?!  Or a few numbers on a screen?!

I’m writing this because I am guilty of this too.  Ever since I was a little girl I talked about wanting to win the lottery.  Why was that a goal of mine at 10 years old?!  

Money is energy and it’s just a means of exchange.  It has no inherent meaning except the meaning we give it.

Money should be our servant, not our master.  

I’ve shifted MANY long held beliefs about money (and still am) and the more I do, the  better my relationship is with money.

My tip for you today is to start treating money like a person.  And think about if that person would want to be around you.  Or if they want to avoid you because you are hoarding, resenting and blaming it for all your problems.  Start appreciating and thanking your money instead, making it welcome into your experience.  

No matter what your current relationship with money is, I promise this will start to improve it.

XO

Adrienne

Emotional Maturity

Today marks two years since I’ve had a drink.  I can’t believe how fast it’s gone and I am SO incredibly proud of myself.

I’ve grown so much since making this decision mostly in emotional maturity.  I see now how much I used alcohol as an avoidance and numbing tool.  That I could never really sit with my negative feelings or I would drink to “forget my problems.”

What did this do?  Just compounded problems!!  And had negative emotions fester and live inside of me instead of being expressed.

You see emotions are Energy in Motion.  The average lifespan of an emotion if fully felt in the moment is only 90 seconds.  The problem comes when we judge and suppress the emotion.  It then gets stored in our body instead of being processed and let go.

When you have a build up of these negative emotions inside of you, it is affecting you much more than you know.  It keeps you thinking negative thoughts, it lowers your vibration and has you unconsciously pulsing out a negative frequency instead of a frequency of what you WANT.

I believe this is a HUGE reason why the law of attraction doesn’t work for most people.  Because you can try to think positively all you want, but if you have a ton of unprocessed, negative emotions living in your body, that is the feeling state you will be in 99% of the time.  

And those negative emotions become so commonplace, that is just your normal not realizing there is a much lighter and better way to feel.

These emotions are then coming up and being reflected to you while you’re screaming at people in traffic, quietly resenting your spouse, getting mad at the barista for getting your order wrong.

All of these outer world things are just feeding and affirming these negative emotions inside of you.  

I’m here to tell you, there’s a better way to live!!!  It doesn’t mean you have to let go of alcohol like I did, but it does mean bringing more awareness to your thoughts and feelings and understanding how to actually feel and process them.

My life has changed dramatically since learning this skill and it helps to keep me living in a very positive, happy state.  

If you want to learn more about this or would like any support in letting go of a nonproductive behavior, I am here to help.

XO

Adrienne

Playing it Safe

I’ve become aware that I have been playing it safe in several areas of my life.  I am so fearful of making a mistake or failing that I don’t go all in.

I didn’t even realize I was doing this.  But thank you to my coach and some deep inner work I became aware of this pattern.  I get into my head and start overthinking things before they even get started.

I judge myself harshly thinking “I should know better.”  But aren’t all experiences for us to learn and grow?  It doesn’t matter how it turns out because there will be lessons in everything.

So now I want to allow myself to get messy, dive into things and just trust myself that whatever happens I will be ok.  Even if something hurts or I fail miserably or I hurt someone else, it’s all part of this beautiful, messy process of life.

Where are you playing it safe?  I dare you to dive in and let it get messy.

XO

Adrienne

Attitudes of Mind

I believe that people are always responding to what we are holding in our mind. If we believe something to be true about ourselves or someone, that will always be affirmed to us in our reality.  It can be no other way.

I’ve been on a Spanish adventure for the past week.  On my first day in Barcelona, I was noticing that people seemed unfriendly and unhelpful.  

Then I realized it was because of how I was thinking and acting. I was self-conscious not knowing the language at all.  I was thinking that people would be annoyed if I didn’t speak Spanish. 

So I was timid and wary.  In response to this, people were not responding well to me.

I decided to change my thoughts and change my behavior. 

I kept repeating to myself “I love people and people love me.”  “People are always helpful and can feel my good energy.”  Then I showed up more confidently and friendly with these new beliefs.  

In a matter of minutes, people were smiling at me in the street, helpful to me in stores and infinitely more welcoming!

It was so fun and cool to see such a shift so quickly.  Now I have met so many friendly and amazing people. I even manifested a free night in one of the places I was staying!

Life can be so fun when you understand how to use your mind to get what you want.  If there’s someone in your life that is not responding to you the way you’d like, shift your beliefs and attitude about them.  And watch them start to change.  

XO

Adrienne

Opinions

Inside the minds’ of every person you’ve ever crossed paths lives a different version of you. 

No one has ever truly met YOU. The YOU that only you know so intimately.  

It’s interesting to think about that.  Which means that everyone has a different opinion of you.

So why then are we always so concerned about others’ opinions of us?!  

I learned that someone I recently met doesn’t have the best opinion of me. When I heard that, my heart started to race and my mind went into overdrive. 

“What if they knew about my good heart and pure intentions?”  “Maybe if they got to know me more and saw how nice I am they wouldn’t feel that way.”  And on and on my mind went.

Until I stopped it. Why do I feel like I need to manage someone else’s opinion of me.  I’m clearly misunderstood by them and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t need to be understood by everyone.

It’s taken me a while to learn this but the only thing that matters is my opinion of me. 

When you understand who you are and you can hold esteem and approval for who you are, then nothing anyone thinks about you matters.

When you’re constantly doing things for the approval and admiration of others, it’s a sure fire way to betray yourself. And little by little eats away at your self esteem.

Know who you are, love who you are and be ok with being misunderstood.

XO

Adrienne

Yes to Life

I was invited to spend this past weekend in Nebraska at a ranch for a retreat/festival hosted by a well-known guy in the finance industry. 

The way the invitation came in just a couple weeks prior was very serendipitous and it happened to be the one weekend in October I didn’t have any plans.

So I said yes.  I didn’t know a soul that was going to be there but it sounded right up my alley and I felt a lot of excitement at the thought of going.

I went in with zero expectations and just kept myself open to whatever was present.

It was cold, rainy and extremely muddy. I was staying in a tent with someone I never met before.  I was forced to mingle and eat dinner with total strangers. It pushed me out of my comfort zone in a lot of ways. 

What happened? I had the most magical time! I said yes to everything, I ran into just the right people at exactly the right time and I broke out of some of my hard and fast rules and stayed up all night.

It was expansive, fun and freeing.  It proved to me this is what happens when we say yes to life and allow things to unfold naturally, exactly as they should without expectations, pushing or forcing.

I think I’ll give this a try more often - saying yes to life when opportunities present themselves and trusting the unfolding.


XO

Adrienne

The Process

As I was in yoga class over the weekend, I was receiving lots of insights as I typically do.

I caught myself checking my watch to see how much longer we had of class.  When it hit me, why am I always rushing to the end?  

As with most things in life, we are so eager for the goal, the end result, that we miss the journey along the way.

Everything becomes a means to an end.  “Life is a journey.”  “Enjoy the process.”  We’ve heard these sayings before but it hit me in a different way.

What if we not only enjoyed the journey but absolutely fell in love with the process.  Fell in love with every single step - the difficult, the easy, the fun, the challenging - we just loved it all.  

Recognizing that it is all fleeting and being grateful for what’s in front of you at the moment.  Not rushing through things thinking the end goal will bring salvation.

Just relaxing, enjoying life’s ride every step of the way.

So after I checked my watch, I laughed at myself, took a deep breath and just got back into the moment.  Before I knew it, class was over.  Never to have that same exact class ever again.  Just a memory now.

Here’s your reminder to not just enjoy but surrender to and fall in love with the process of life.  Sit back and enjoy the ride.

XO

Adrienne

Desires

I truly believe, what is desired by you, is destined for you.  Meaning, you wouldn’t even have the desire for something that isn’t meant to be yours.  

But something I’ve learned is there is a difference between our hearts’ desires and our egos’ desires.

Often times we desire things because we are coming from a place of lack or feelings of wanting to prove ourselves.  “Once I have this, THEN I will be successful, have made it, be happy.etc”  The ego feels incomplete and is always seeking MORE.  

Unfortunately that feeling of wanting more is a bottomless pit that can never be satiated.

Our hearts’ desires come without the baggage.  You may still desire something like massive wealth but it’s because you think it would be fun to have!  Or maybe you always envisioned yourself having that huge house for the whole family, or traveling around the world to explore.  

When you think about them, you feel uplifted and excited!  When it comes from the ego, it’s stressful, feels heavy and the underlying energy is “I HAVE to have this otherwise I failed.”

I believe we put dreams in our heart before we came here to Earth School.  When we go after those desires, they manifest much more easily and with less effort than the desires of our ego.

Check in with yourself - where are your desires coming from?  Start searching your heart for many of us have buried those desires.  Know they are yours for the taking if you’re brave enough to make a decision to go after them.

XO

Adrienne