Numbing

I haven’t had a drink in over 18 months now - I can’t believe it’s been that long!  Giving up alcohol has been such a positive in my life in many ways.  
Something that it has really brought my attention to, is the ways in which I escape or try to numb out my feelings.  Without having alcohol as a quick, easy fix, I find myself reaching for other things.  The big one for me has been food.  (Most people who stop drinking lose weight - it’s been the opposite for me!)

But I also see it when I constantly check my phone, binge Netflix or incessantly worry about needless things in my life.  They’re all some sort of distraction. 

It’s been tough but also very enlightening to consciously watch myself self-destruct.  And once I’m aware of it, I can (sometimes) stop it.

What we don’t realize is that when we numb out the uncomfortable or bad feelings, we also numb out the good.  Which is why we require more and more of our “drug” of choice to get those happy feelings and they’re fleeting.

Being human is about experiencing the full range of emotions, not just the good ones.  We have a tendency to want to cling to the good ones and push away the bad which is just impossible in this ever-changing reality we live in.

What if we could just let all of our emotions come and go as they please without feeling the need to do anything about them?!  Just let them pass through us like a wave of current just passing through our bodies.  After all, emotions are just energy in motion.

In fact, experts say that if we just allowed an emotion to run its course, its average lifespan is only 90 seconds!  The problem is when we resist the emotion, the energy gets trapped and it prolongs the whole experience even keeping remnants of that emotion in our body for good.

Now when I reach for food or find some distraction, I’ll pause and ask myself - what am I feeding right now?  What am I feeling and what am I trying to avoid?

Sometimes I get an answer, sometimes I don’t.  But more importantly, it serves as a pattern interrupt in my brain so I can start programming in a different habit and allow whatever I’m feeling to pass through.

Being human can be hard but let’s enjoy the full spectrum of what life has to offer instead of avoiding it.

XO

Adrienne